lip-stick story

Cursing his fate, he laid still on the slightly wet grass. It was the only time he was not judged. The dimly lit sky was calm and helped him fulfill all his inhibitions that were not acceptable to the world and will never be. He stood up scanned the place satisfactorily. Then opened his small bag pack took out a dupatta and the long hair wig which he stole from his mothers dresser. He tied the dupatta around his thin legs like a saree and placed the wig properly on his head. The night was beautiful; he hummed his favorite tune and started to sway. His long locks swayed with the wind, while he ran his hands every once in a while on his hair to make sure it doesn’t fall off. The people who knew him wouldn’t be shocked by this; it was just that no one actually knew him. Nobody understood what he felt and why.
Life was very confusing for Ranjan till the day he was told by his father that he was born a hermaphrodite. His father was a sarpanch of the village, everyone respected him. His pride would have suffered, so both his parents decided to have an operation and Ranjan would grow like a man. However, as he grew up, his female inside him wanted to be free. He once wore his mom’s necklace to the village mela, like his other girl-friends, and when he returned he was hit by a belt by his father while his mother cursed her fate to give birth to such a ‘thing’. He enjoyed sitting and gossiping more than playing with the boys. Everyone made fun of him. Girls dint want a guy around when they were talking, and he was very bad at cricket so the boys used to call her a girl. He used to stay at home and stare out of the window most of the time. At night, the only time he was not monitored, he used to sneak out of the house and put makeup like his mother sometimes wear her night gown and dance like a girl.
Ranjan was not allowed to attend the community school as he once borrowed a skirt from his female friends to try on and see how he looks. The news reached his father who freaked out and hit Ranjan with a stick between his legs to remind him he was no more a woman after the operation. Ranjan had a lot of questions to ask from everyone, but he knew all he would get is scolding and curses, but no answers. As he was grew further up, his chest started to take shape. On seeing this, his mother used to tie a big cloth around his chest, so tight that it used to hurt him. He used to cry in pain and begged her to loosen it a little, at least when he is in the house. But she was scared the maid might tell people around about their little secret. He was hitting puberty and his parents were scared that they wouldn’t be able to hide it for a long time.
It was a normal morning and Ranjan got up late. He felt sick and his stomach was aching badly. He went to take a bath and his mom tied the cloth around him as routine. He couldn’t eat much for breakfast, to which his parents thought he was just being difficult. They told him that they have done a favor on him to let them live with them. He knew his parents did not love him; they were just fulfilling a social obligation by keeping him with them. Ranjan felt tired and lied down for an afternoon nap hoping the pain would go away. It did indeed, but he never got up.
It was later diagnosed that the kid started his menstrual flow but the blood could not come out as the opening wasn’t there anymore due to the operation he had as a kid. The blood accumulated inside and the kid died due to complications. His funeral was quick in the morning. There was no crying in the house. By Nightfall, Ranjan’s parents started to discuss of having a new baby. They decided to adopt this time, avoiding the risk.