The alarm rang, she knew she had to get up and get ready for office else she would be late for her meeting. Working on a presentation for her boss kept her up till 2 after mid night, she felt weak and tired. The lack of sleep and the fear of presentation had made her twist and turn all night. She tried getting up but her back hurt. With tired weary hands she picked up her phone from the side of the bed there were three new messages. The first one was from her boss to remind her not to be late to work. The second one from some random phone company message,” they have nothing else to do than spam my phone.” The third message made her blush and smile, ”hey, good morning,I know you must be tired and sleeping peacefully by now, all I want to say is nothing in the world, I'd rather want than to be with you right now. I love you more than anything Nishtha.” With a smile on her face, forgetting all the tension she got up and started her morning errands. She got ready and thought she would have to leave without her breakfast but to her surprise her roommate hadalready made a sandwich for her. It was a hot day, but she didn’t care. She picked up her car keys and walked towards the parking lot. There was a skip in her walk and all she did was think about him and smile. Till then she had read the message thrice, the day started well as she thought to herself, ”I hope the presentation goes well too.” The traffic bothered her a little but soon she reached office and the clock kept ticking. All her work was appreciated, the presentation went well. The phone rang around lunch, she knew who it was. “hello, my boss loved my work, my presentation went well. I am so so happy. Ye ye ye and (short pause and with a giggle) I love you.” He smiled gently as if he understood exactly what she meant and hoped she was there next to him, wanted to hold her tight, kiss her on her forehead and tell her that he was proud of her, he just didn’t know how to explain it to her. It was a really busy day she thought to herself as she cursed the government for such bad infrastructure and poor traffic sense of people. The radio blaring out loud in her car with the radio jockey going on and on with his stupid jokes irritated her even more, as she scrolled through the channels she came across Rod Stewart’s ‘have I told you lately that I love you’. She couldn’t stop but think of him, she tried calling him but he was in a meeting and kept cutting. She trusted him more than ever and she knew he was the one. It all started when they met for the first time and their friend teased her that they are perfect for each other, the jokes grew and they never realized when they started liking each other so much. They were not in a relationship, not even in the same town but they felt connected. She always thought it was just one sided liking till one day he mailed her ,” I can’t help but think how beautiful you'd be looking right now, sleeping with your both fists clasped together and your head cutely over it . A serene expression on your face dreaming of everything in the world. Knees folded under the sheet; can’t help it but imagine the dim moonlight falling on your face making it look like something; something from a poet's dream. I just want to be with you.... I want to be the shoulder you put your head on to and I want to rub my cheek lightly against yours and say slowly ....dream all you can, I am there to shoulder them” she repeated the lines to herself.
She knew he loved her more than she did, but he was too scared to admit as she had once told him that she was scared of relationships.
Months passed in the same way and their loved grew deeper and stronger. But the busy schedule kept them from talking to each other for long. She kept calling he kept telling her about his zillion meetings he had to attend and projects and things became weird. They had more fights than ever, his aloof reactions bothered her. She was scared for them and one day he stopped picking up or even replying to her messages. She called so many times and his phone was off, she knew something was wrong. His facebook said everything; he was in a relationship with someone. Nishtha cried and cried and could not understand any of it. “How could he do that to her and why” was all she could think of. She called for a month but no one picked.
After a long time she receives a mail from him,” Nishtha, I love you but I can’t be with you because this girl is crazy and she will die if I don’t be with her.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as she read the mail. She couldn’t get it, “if he loves me, he should be with me. What about me, what about my dying inside every day, hoping that one day you will come back. What about my going through the long mails u sent me, the messages…. “ she loved him too much and she was wrong she was alone, he didn’t love her, he just liked her and now he is gone and would never come back. She didn’t know if he was right or wrong, all she knew was that she was left alone. That night once again she cried herself to sleep again...
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