SANDS OF TIME

The sun sank down the horizon as those gloomy eyes stared at it as if questioning its fate and at the same time marveling at its beauty. It somehow seemed to draw a parallel analogy to the life she’d lived so far. She’d bloomed and risen to spread warmth and somehow the fire inside incinerated and consumed her and like the fading dusk she had resigned to her fate.

She stared out of the window as the busy traffic passed, nightfall was evident. She closed the window pane and fell flat on her back on the rather comfortable bed that seemed all but a bed of thorns to her at this instant. She tossed and turned seething in silent pain, sometimes wailing in silent whispers. It all seemed to have come back to her all of a sudden, all the good times she’d seen, the people she’d met n those who’d been a part of her life. Those who hurt her n those who got hurt, things that went right and those that didn’t. She wondered in silent agony, was it all there was or is there more to this life , as she stared at the ceiling How she wished it collapsed and brought about an end to all this.

She had everyone yet she felt alone, thousands of friend and yet no one to call her own. Everyone had abandoned her and this was what she had feared all her life. Not that she dint knew this could happen but she never agreed that this could be true. She tossed and turned with tears wailing out of her eyes and her head aching with pain. But no one was there to console her, to tell her that she is not alone. She had always wanted to help people yet when she needs them now however loud she cries however loud she shouts no one would hear her. She had lost everyone with no one else’s but her fault. A belief in her heart that some day this will end kept her going on with her life had shattered her today. For the first time she questioned the very existence of God. College life had left a lasting impact on my psyche and made her what she is today. She went to college with a lot of dreams to make it big. She went to the class and looked around a bit and sat down, here she came across as a person who would leave an impression by his mere appearance, a huge imposing frame and add to that spiked hair, a loose black tshirt that yelled out loud to the world "drink beer fuck fear" and a dog tag to go with it. There was another guy who sat with him who was a geek and did not talk much but was staring at people and was disappointed with himself coz he did not make through any good engineering college. She didn’t like him a bit at the first and neither did he like me. He thought of her as another smart ass bitch (he regrets thinking about her like that till date).

Soon they became friends and had a lot of fun together. They went to malls, movie halls, markets, food joints etc. She loved her college life it was exactly like she had dreamt of. They all would stand up for each other and fight with the world. People used to envy them and wanted to be like them. They never cared about the people and were only bothered about their small world.

Problems came and went but they were inseparable. Little fights never bothered them and they would get back together. But this all was short lived, her happiness was cursed and life had to do this to her yet another time. Every one left her; she was all alone in college and cried everyday. She knew she had to fight the world alone but all she worried about that the people whom she called her friends were the part of the world she had to fight. They abused her but she held herself. What bothered her was that they dint seem to care at all about her.

Though after one year she made some friends and the geek friend of hers came back leaving behind all regrets and they started sharing everything again. She has got her life back and enjoys being with these new set of people. She doesn’t want to lose them and wishes that she could hold them tight forever and not let go. Deep inside she is scared to lose them but still they keep reminding her that nothing is permanent and they would go one day. She wishes to tell them her fears, to tell them what all of them mean to her. Today as she lie in her bed still thinking if she could be the same person she was, with all the love she had and as always no one to answer her; sleeps take toll over her.